How I Found My Joy

Finding joy is a journey unique to each individual, and it often takes unexpected paths. Here, I share my personal methods and successes in discovering true happiness and the lessons learned along the way.

The Beginning of the Journey

My journey to finding joy began during a period of intense self-reflection. The word intense is an understatement. A shift in careers and unemployment led me to ask the universe what my purpose is if I couldn’t do the job that I loved. Hospitality, Event Planning, Food & Beverage were all that I knew. 27 years in the industry, and I was lost. I wasn’t polite about it either. I was mad. Fruitless interviews and resume submissions over six months felt as if I was losing myself and my mind. I had never been in this position. I cried a lot. But the Universe answered me. Just not on my timeline. I had to go through the fire and crawl through the smoke to reach fresh air. Through intense introspection of myself, I crawled towards the light. I had to find some semblance of balance and joy. I had forgotten who I AM. Job titles and accolades had become my identity. I had to let all of that go. So, how did I do it? On my own, without the assistance of a coach, without knowing what Ikigai was at the time, I knew I needed to go back to being an “infant” and learn all about myself. I needed happiness. I remembered the aspirations I’ve always held throughout my life. I want to help others find joy after trauma and volunteer with seniors. After I had set my intentions, I magically discovered Ikigai. I had been doing the work all along! The universe works in mysterious and determined ways.

Re-Exploring Interests

I started by trying out activities and hobbies that I had always been curious about but never took the time to pursue. Here are a few that made a significant impact:

• Painting: Although I had no formal training, the act of putting brush to canvas was liberating. It allowed me to express emotions and thoughts that I couldn't articulate with words.

• Swimming and Meditation: These practices helped me find peace within myself and taught me the importance of being present in the moment.

• Cooking: Experimenting in the kitchen became a creative outlet, and sharing meals with friends and family added a new layer of connection and joy.

• Reading: I hadn’t owned a library card since Jr. High. I proudly went into my library and signed up, and checked out a book. I had lots of time on my hands, so why not be productive and learn something new? I hadn’t read a book for enjoyment in many years because of my career. Now, I can’t get enough! I remembered how much I loved to learn!

• Music: The rhythm, lyrics, and composition of music are what set my day. Music is always playing in the background throughout my day and night. It calms my mind, inspires creativity, and focus. I have several “fight songs” and currently one album that is my muse. 80’s New Wave, Alternative, Classical, Jazz, Classic Rock, Hip Hop/Rap, and K-Pop.

The Importance of Connection

Through this exploration, I realized that human connection played a pivotal role in my happiness. I made a conscious effort to strengthen relationships with those around me by:

• Spending Quality Time: Whether it was coffee with a friend or a family dinner, investing time in my relationships brought immense joy.

• Volunteering: Giving back to the community introduced me to incredible people and gave me a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Embracing Gratitude

A turning point in my journey was the practice of gratitude. I started keeping a gratitude journal, noting three things I was thankful for each day. This simple act shifted my focus from what's lacking to what's abundant in my life, fostering a more positive outlook.

Lessons Learned

Through my journey, I learned several valuable lessons:

• Joy is Within: True happiness comes from within, not from external circumstances or material possessions.

• Be Open to Change: Embracing change and stepping out of my comfort zone opened up new opportunities for joy.

• Mindfulness Matters: Being present and mindful in everyday activities enhanced my ability to find joy in the little things.

Finding joy is an ongoing journey, not a destination. It requires introspection, openness to new experiences, and a focus on the positive aspects of life. By embracing these principles, I have discovered a deeper, more fulfilling sense of happiness than I ever thought possible. I encourage everyone to embark on their journey to find what truly brings them joy.

Stephanie is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and intercollegiate coaching abuse. She has worked in the past as a Speaker with the Arizona Coalition to Prevent Sexual and Domestic Violence.

Stephanie is a certified Ikigai Coach ID45632-47393

Stephanie is not a licensed therapist. Coaching is intended to enhance the Client’s life and not to treat or diagnose mental illness.